Stravinsky...um I mean....Babinski Reflex

"Dear Danny,
   Well, recently Auntie became a grandma to your first cousin once removed, Leonardo.  See him here being held by your cousin by marriage, Tony?  Leo is 2 weeks old in this photo.  He had just come back from his check-up.  One thing the doctor looks for is the baby's Babinski Reflex.  He'll run a dull instrument along his foot: if it curls, then the baby's reflexes are ok.

It' similar to the Stravinsky Reflex. 

The Stravinsky Reflex is best described as that cringe we make whenever someone hits a high C note, or when someone runs their fingernails across the chalkboard.  That's the...Stravinsky Reflex.  Honest!
    Love,
         Auntie"

Staffordshire Nightmare

"Dear Audrey,

You know how Auntie is. Whether it's searching for the perfect deviled egg recipe, or looking for seashells at Pismo Beach, Auntie can get a little obsessed when it comes to collections. 

Auntie's new obsession is Stafforshire Porcelain, specifically that certain Staffordshire porcelain depicting Spaniels and manufactured during the Industrial Revolution. These were produced in pairs, and were often hand painted by small children who were sent to work in factories, so these lovely collectibles are found to have vacuous or whimsical stares, yellow eyes, arched eyebrows and metallic-glazed lockets.

Auntie prefers the ones with vacuous stares and yellow eyes.

So far, Auntie has collected two sets of Staffordshire Spaniels. One pair sits atop the fireplace mantel, and one pair by the hearth.  Uncle John said,"That's probably enough Spaniels, don't you think?"  But what he REALLY meant is, "Their eyes follow me as I come through the front door, sit, read the paper, and get up to go to the kitchen.  It's creeping me out." 

Anyhoo, wish  you were here!
     Love,
         Auntie"

Just Wrong

"Dear Audrey and Danny,
I found this artist's rendering of actor Eric Roberts on a website that sells lunchboxes.  It's just wrong.  First of all, not only is Mr. Roberts the brother of the more known Julia, he is an accomplished pianist and collector of peacock feathers.  To depict him on a lunch box riding a horse is near blasphemy.  It should have been a unicorn.
     Love,
       Auntie"

Viking Bangs

"Hi Audrey,
       Do you remember when Grandma took this picture?  I think you were 2 days old. Look at how cute  you are.  I don't know what Auntie was looking at, but boy my hair was short.  Now it's 2 feet longer.  I rarely cut it - but when I do, it's only the bangs.  Uncle John says, 'Be careful, or you'll look like a Viking.'  But like Confucius said, 'dull scissors and Viking hair are better than dull brains' (or something like that).
      Love,
          Auntie"

"Dear Audrey,
      I'm sure you've heard all about 9/11 at school, and how that day changed everyone's lives - especially those at Ground Zero.  But did you know that after 9/11 shrines to commemorate the fallen heroes started popping up all over the place like this one? Right after 9/11 someone put a fireman's hat on this rock, and next thing you know there were flowers, plants, flags and all kinds of things around it.  To this day, 10 years later, you can still find these shrines on the anniversary of 9/11.
      Love,
          Auntie"

Hwy 46

"Hi Audrey!
       This is a picture along Hwy 46 near Paso Robles of a clump of trees in the shape of a heart.  Great-Grandma Joaquina loved this heart-shaped grove.  She also looked like the little old lady in the Burger King commercials in the '80s - the one who said, 'Where's the beef.'  She would say that in the back of the car when we'd drive along Hwy 46.  Auntie and Aunt Xie would die laughing. She would also speak Portuguese to Grandma, and we had no clue what she was saying, but could tell if she was talking about us by the change in the tone of her voice.  We loved her and miss her a lot.  She would also say, 'Quoi ta thine,' when translated means, 'Poor little thing,' or something like that.
      Love,
           Auntie"

Bird Brain

"Hi Danny!
      This picture was taken 9 years ago at one of Grandma's famous yard sales.  Notice how Cukor is sitting on your dad's shoulder, and how Nathan is pretending to be Cukor's head?  Although Cukor's head really looks like Cukor (not Nathan) humans and birds both have similar brains in that the surface, or neocortex is folded.  That's why we relate to them & cats & dogs.  Rodents have a smooth neocortex so we don't find them as cute.  Birds are actually very smart.  So if someone ever calls you a 'bird brain', say 'Hey, Thaaanks!" (just like that).
      Love,
          Auntie"